Deviant Lifestyles

Last night, I went to a movie premiere party... for an adult film.

Why? Cause I never have. And I'm in freaking L.A.

The film is about submission and domination... but it's one of the "mainstream adult films" (if you could call it that). Made by one of the bigger companies, and it's nicely shot, high production values and apparently known names of the adult film world. So I have a feeling that the fetishism displayed on screen is quite tame compared to the real-world practice of B/D/S/M. Not having seen a "fetish" video before, I would only assume they're more closer to the "B-movie" variety... shot on home videotape... grainy and gritty with performers resembling people you ACTUALLY see on the street.

But they were giving out free gift bags. And if it's free... it's for me. There could be a sign saying "Free Dirt", and I'll be in line with bags waiting for my topsoil.

The website encouraged Fetish Wear... so for the first time in a long while... I got to break out my Pleather Pants... not to mention my "Gay Shirt" (it's shiny, black, humblingly tight, and I got it in West Hollywood. Also haven't worn it in 4 years... I was very happy it still fit.) Then I slicked my hair back... which for my hair, actually entails pomade and a LOT of hairspray. When it dried, if I were to accidentally headbutt somebody, I'd probably crack their skull before that Plaster Toupee even dented.) Then... since I was going for more of a "Cyberpunk" thing... I took eyeliner pencil from my Theatre Makeup kit, and drew circuitry (or something resembling it) all over my left arm, and the left side of my face. When I finished with that, I figured I looked barely passable... hopefully I wouldn't get laughed at.

That actually didn't happen at all... I must have done better with it than I thought. Several people asked if it was a tattoo, and many more complimented me on it. Coolness. :)

But I'm getting ahead. I'm not normally a club-goer. I tend to hang back, people watch, and just sort of visually occupy myself. But here, I actually met people. In a normal club, a quick smile would MAYBE get you the same in return. If you want conversation with someone, you have to break through several barriers including, but not limited to, a shell of turned backs intended to dissuade any passer-bys, finding a spark of conversation when next to no inspiration is nearby, the 2-second judgement, etc. Sometimes it's like pulling your own teeth to get any kind of social momentum going.

Here, it was the complete opposite. Giving someone a basic smile, 9 times out of 10, got an enthusiastic smile in return (as opposed to a non-sincere polite one), and automatic conversation. No need to look for inspiration, everyone was wearing it. Everything seemed so much easier here. In a normal club, if you glance at some girl's overflowing cleavage, she'll think that you should die. Here, if you glance and some girl's overflowing cleavage, she'll think, "Why wouldn't you?"

The first person I met was an older woman... who was a dominatrix. She was very friendly, and we talked quite a bit about the lifestyle and practice. I didn't find it arousing at all... but I did find it very interesting and educational. A little while later, when some people were "playing"... there were plenty of people (myself included) watching. Everyone with knowledge of the practice were admiring other's form and technique... it almost seemed like it was being treated as more of an Art Form, rather than sexual. (Though the sexual element was clearly there.)

Overall, I have to admit... it was pretty darn fascinating. I learned about rope play, domination, knife play, craftsmanship of the racks and S/M tables, some of the different kinds of restraints used... a bunch of stuff. And I'm as white bread as they come... but it was definitely interesting.

And it kind of occurred to me earlier today when I was thinking about it... whenever I've met someone who was involved in what's considered a "deviant lifestyle" (S/M, Bikers, people with Tattoos covering 80% of their body, etc.)... in MY experience, they've always been the nicest... most polite... and most RESPECTFUL people I've ever met.

That's a much different message then I got when growing up. We always were told that "deviants" are evil and sick, with something wrong with them, that only hurt themselves and everyone around them. Well, I didn't see anyone hurting there. No drunken fights breaking out (no one even drunk)... no one crying... nothing like that. Just a lot of polite, happy people having a good time.

As I was leaving (and somehow ended up with 2 gift bags), I was walking back to my car, and I was crossing Sunset Blvd. There were 3 other people also crossing the same way. Two guys and a girl... dressed normally, mundanely... and acting a bit on the obnoxious side. As I passed by them, and they got to see me. All I heard was, "What's up with THIS guy?"

Obviously talking about me. 1am in the morning, no one else around... yeah, it was about me.

I considered turning around and simply saying, "THIS guy just came from a kick ass party with porn stars and scantily clad women everywhere who were HOPING to get spanked."

But then I figured... the worst thing I could do to this Generation Yutz is just let him continue on his way... and then he'd never know about a pretty damn cool place... and hence, never bother any of the truly nice people. So I just smiled and kept on walking.

And dude! I got free nipple clamps. Woo-Hoo!


1peanut said...

is this B/Ryan from the gg site? if not that's okay just consider me some random girl that came across your site. anyway you sound like you had a good time, any plans on going back?

Anonymous said...

Hey Brian, I love the site. It's great and you write so different compared to when you write on GG's site. You really ought to write for a living....you're pretty good at this. I'll let my friends know about it. Keep on rocking.......

Sounds like you had a whole lotta fun at that party

Single Stephanie (GG) said...

Hey B/Ryan. That's great that you made some new friends and had alot of fun. Don't feel pressured to join in if you're not comfortable just because you feel accepted by them. I only say this because I know exactly what you are saying. I am the same way, I have always been that way. I have "friends" from every social circle but just never quite fit in to any particular one. Just stay true to yourself. Oh and for the record if you smiled at me in a club I would give you a genuine smile back and probably even come say hello.
You totally should have said that to that guy on the street. He would have eaten his words really fast.

nc_chick_35 said...

*giggles* i would have said what you were thinking of saying..and i am also one to sit back and watch..a guy who wears eyeliner and inst gay is rare..(my ex roomate was gay and 7 ft tall in heels and is a riot)

nc_chick_35 said...

when i read what you wrote on GG's blog about what you are looking for..you described me to a T.seriously..it may be that alot of guys want that in a relationship..i dont know..but thats the way i am..right down to the massages..and the knowing limits..and the reciprocation and initiation..my immediate reaction was oh my god, does this guy know me?the name i use on GGs blog is my yahoo name..if you want to talk more

Snooty'smama said...

You crack me up. Keep up the good writing.:)